Surfing didn't come easy for me, in spite of all the right preparation. Like, I'd been boogie boarding since I was young, so I knew the ocean. I was a water polo player. I could swim like crazy. I wasn't worried about being held underwater. You know, learning at 35 wasn't so easy. And the Bay Area is not a great learning spot.

It’d frustrate the hell out of me! I'd go to the beginner spot, Linda Mar, and I'd be out there and people all around me who didn't seem very athletic were catching waves, making it look easy, and I’m like, “What the heck is going on here?”

But I persevered, and then I got the right board. And into my third year, I became reasonably proficient. 

Now at 63 — I’m probably kidding myself – but I want to say, I’m get better at surfing all the time, which is an odd thing at my age, to be able to improve on something. And that feels great. Part of it is a mixed bag. I think that I am improving because I pay attention to it, and I get tips from people and watch people, so I'm definitely improving. But by the same token, I don't chase waves like I used to. But that doesn't bug me. It used to be like, “Oh, I let two waves go.” Or, “Man, I should have paddled harder, and I could have got the wave instead of that guy.” None of that stuff do I worry about anymore. You know, I'm out there, I'm having a good time, and I'm happy to watch somebody else get a wave.

One of the things I think about with surfing is, and this has helped me a lot: you don't control what your experience is like. If you're playing basketball, you're playing basketball on a wood floor with two baskets that are 10 feet high. If you make it or not, it's kind of your fault. You know, if you're having a good day or not, the variables don't change much. In surfing, the variables change every single time you go out and every minute of your session. So my goal is to do as well as I can with what nature provides.

When I was younger it was always about next time and improving. And now I just realize, I have no idea. I have no idea what next time will hold and I enjoy every session a whole lot more.

I had a teacher in Spain when I was in college, and he was a fat, jolly old man, probably the grand old age of 50 or something, and he said to us youngsters, there's two secrets to make yourself happy in life. One is a short memory, like, don't go carrying shit around, let it go. And the other is the ability to laugh at yourself. And I'm out surfing on a day like today, I was a buffoon! That's okay. It just happens, and I'm not beating myself up. I can laugh. It wasn't my day. It's fine! I still had a good time.

And then there are those sensations, like sometimes in Santa Cruz, there are just these gorgeous waves coming at you. A good looking wave just gets inside your body. You see that glassy green peak coming up at you, the cobra-head shape as it curls down. I got those feelings in Nicaragua during my trip just now, the feeling of having a relationship with a wave that looks like that. It'just so freaking gorgeous, and you’re having a relationship with this energy and you are enmeshed in this thing. You know, when you're surfing a wave, you're fully on it and in it. You have no choice. You're riding and it’s having its power over you.  

One thing about retirement is sometimes you can feel without a purpose. When I was a school principal I was proud that I could help a school grow, build a strong culture, a better place for the kids. Now, in retirement, sometimes you're on a trip in a cool place, like recently Kelly and I were staying in Sicily and having a good old time, and we're getting up, having an Italian breakfast, driving around the countryside, but I’m like, “Is there something we're supposed to be doing? You know?” Or, you can feel self-indulgent. Like, okay, I'm gonna take a nap. Maybe sit and watch a ball game. That wasn't me when I was working.  

What’s my purpose now? I try to use my skills to help organizations like my temple and the school in Nicaragua where I volunteer, things like that. I do the parenting that still needs to be to done to help my kids grow and develop, even though they're 22 and 24. I think that's the release of retirement. You know, my life has been great.